He never failed to entertain us and give us fresh content to discuss, laugh at, judge and even worry. He claimed he was completely sober and said in his now infamous quote that he was indeed “Winning!” Was he delusional?

I am not a mental health expert, but unfortunately I’ve had the displeasure of watching someone who is brilliantly talented lose everything as a result of how drugs impaired their mental health.

Why would this man say that he was winning when to the normal eye it seemed he was crashing fast? Unlike Charlie, people tend to speak negatively about themselves.

For instance, when we look in the mirror we are more likely to point out our flaws – the need for a haircut, bad skin, too fat, too skinny etc. Or, when we make mistakes we’re so hard on ourselves, we may even think things in our heads and within our hearts such as: you’re dumb, incompetent, a mean person, a push-over, etc.

What we think and feel on the inside are not necessarily what we project on the outside. Furthermore, we would never let anyone else speak to us in that manner. If they did we would totally defend ourselves, if not take their head off verbally or even physically, depending on when you catch us.

Here’s where “embracing your inner Sheen” comes in. The irony about Charlie Sheen and what he expressed about himself is that he knew his value and refused to pretend that he wasn’t special. True, his life seemed to be falling apart and he was on full public display. Yet that didn’t seem to deter him one bit.

His talent had been capitalized upon; entertaining millions while simultaneously making him and many others millionaires. What he brought to the table used to work for people. Charlie was no longer an asset for the production that he was the star of, but his talent was not any less valuable – at least not in his mind.

What about you? When you make a mistake or your flaws are exposed on display for others to see, how do you handle it? Do you let gossip and judgments about you stop you from what you know you’re really good at doing? Do you get depressed or embarrassed; or worse, do you start buying into the negativity? If so, that’s not winning.

Are you any less valuable because you got laid-off from your job or because your relationship didn’t work-out? Of course not. Aren’t you still you? If you were good enough before, you are just as good, if not better now, because you have more experience.

Yes, Charlie’s indulgence and bad behavior finally caught up to him and he’s suffered some consequences. Nevertheless, even if he is as crazy as a bed-bug, everything that he’s said in the midst of that media frenzy is not wrong.

Embrace Your Inner Sheen

What I like about his quote, “I’m tired of pretending I’m not a total bitchin’ rock star from Mars;” is that he believed in himself. He refused to let other people define him. And because he believed in himself, he decided to take matters into his own hands and he changed the game on his terms. During that time, the whole country was talking about Charlie Sheen. Why?  Because he embraced his “Inner Sheen” and today, he’s starring in a new show ‘Anger Management.’ He capitalized on his personal drama. By most accounts, the subsequent show was a hit.

Who’s talking badly about you? Are the negative voices in your own head? I dare you to become your best PR machine. Tell yourself how great you are for a change. Concentrate on what you do well instead of always criticizing yourself. If you don’t like how you’re being treated at work, in a relationship or even how you look. Guess what? With audacity, you can change things. Do something different. Don’t just lay down and take it. Stand up for yourself. So what if people talk about you, some things will be good and some won’t. But at least you’ll have your say. In the words of my sister-friend Crystal Taylor-Hurt, “A person can only do to you what you allow them to do. If you feel like you are someone’s yo-yo, then remove yourself from their hand. Life is too short to allow someone else, to dictate your destiny.”

DEYA DIRECTIVE: As any woman knows, we like for our hair to shine. So what do we do? We put “sheen” in it so it can stand out. Stand out and stand up for yourself. If you made a mistake, life goes on. If one opportunity ends, create a new one. Once you have the experience, no one can take that from you. The concept I want us to embrace, if you dare, is – winning!

Deya “Direct” Smith is a lead producer on the Tom Joyner Morning Show and host of Girlfriend FM & Beyond the Studio celebrity interviews. She is also the best-selling author of Touch Yourself, 30 Ways to Live, Love and Let Go (www.touchmebooks.com)! Deya is a life-style and inspirational speaker.

Don’t Lay Down And Take It was originally published on blackamericaweb.com

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