HB: That’s a really interesting point you bring up. I often tease my mother about being harder on me then she is on my brothers. As a parent of both genders, do your feel yourself being harder one than the other?
JPS: When it comes to mothers and daughters and their sons–there is a different dynamic. I love on Willow as much as I love on Jaden but because she’s a woman and I understand her path, there is a certain guidance that she gets from me that is a little different from Jaden. Thank God for his father. But Will does the same. But that’s why you have mothers and fathers. I raise and love Willow. I keep her by my hip. When she reaches out, I am right there, because there’s just this understanding–a thing about being a woman. Will never says no to Willow–and that was our agreement, don’t ever say no to her, that’s my job! Now with Jaden, I love on Jaden really hard, (and I didn’t take that agreement with will with [me] not telling Jaden no, because as a mother, they’ll try to get over on you), but Will is really the strong force and guidance for him. But depending on what our own personal fears may be we project that on [our children]. Sometimes we project our fears on to our daughters and I had to check myself. Once I removed the fear aspect and started to deal with her as mommy and daughter, and bring my experiences with me with my understanding versus with my fears, the energy is different. The relationship that I have with Willow is pure understanding. The thing I never try to make her feel is guilt. Whenever she makes a mistake, I never want her to feel bad or guilty about it. But I want her to remember how she feels and ask herself, “do you want to feel like that again?” And then I ask her does she want my help to give you guidance on how to feel like again? If she says yes, I say ‘ok, let’s talk about it.’
HB: But those teen years aren’t far away, it might not always be that easy!
JPS: The teen years are coming! I’m telling you all this right now, but I might be telling you something different is three years! But I’ve raised three other teenagers. I learned it from my first girl Tamera, who I raised–we’ve raised three other children. That’s the other thing people don’t know—people think we’ve only had Willow and Jaden, we’ve had Tre, Kyle and Tamera. We’ve had three teenagers to work things out on before these jokers came along. We got a lot of experience. We’ve done this!
HB: So, you mean, you kind of know what you’re doing, huh?
JPS: Yes! And let me tell you, my girl Tamera! The sh*t that she has put me through–she’s on Jada Pinkett level but just gets caught all the time. But, I learned a lot from Tamera–I learned so much from her and she came out on top. So with Willow–between Tamera and thinking about myself–I think what worked? What didn’t work? What strengthened me? What put me in fear? How do I want Willow to live–where do I want her to develop her strengths—and I came up with a formula that works for them both. It’s been working pretty well so far. Willow is my last test, if it works with her I’m gonna write a damn book! But I gotta wait. I gotta wait a few years to make sure it’s full proof.
Stay tuned for the next part of our Best.Jada.Interview.Ever right here at HelloBeautiful. Next week Jada talks about dating will and the agreements they made to make their marriage work.
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