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It’s with the club patrons. Can you believe that, in 2013, there are CHEAP BASTARDS still tipping exotic dancers one dollar?

When you go into a strip club, you’ve pretty much identified yourself to the world as a horny bastard. By leaving piddling tips, you’ve pretty much identified yourself as a horny bastard AND a cheap bastard.

Some full disclosure: I don’t go to strip clubs. I used to, but I stopped.

I stopped when my eldest granddaughter, Kaila, got old enough to ask questions. That’s when I asked myself two questions:

1. Do you want Kaila to find out you were in a strip club (and she just might)?

2. Do you want to EXPLAIN to Kaila WHY you were in that strip club when she asks (and she definitely will)?

I quickly realized that I’d rather get a lap dance from a sumo wrestler than have to account to Kaila about why I was in a strip club.

So, yes, this entire column is written by a guy that has a severe FEAR THE GRANDDAUGHTER thing going on when it comes to strip clubs, but I still contend the guys tipping dancers are cheap bastards.

Heck, fives and 10’s don’t even cut it anymore. How about some 20’s and 50’s guys? Even a hundred-dollar bill here or there ain’t out of the question.

Club owners can keep on top of this too. Hire bouncers that will throw CHEAP BASTARDS out the door when they see them stuffing G-strings with one and five-dollar bills. If you can’t tip $10 or up, you need to get the hell out of the club.

Everett, realizing she won’t always have the kind of banging body that makes for good pole dancing or exotic dancing, said she wants to make enough money to attend nursing school.

A noble objective, but skeptics will note that there are many young women that look just as comely as Everett who decided their route to nursing school didn’t run through the strip club.

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