When I interviewed Tamar Braxton and husband Vince Herbert earlier this year, I, nor anyone around us, could not deny their love connection. I still have a photo in my phone of Vince jokingly grabbing the back of Tamar’s neck. Even though my iCloud is almost at capacity I wont delete it, it’s just too cute. She is just as vibrant in real life and he is just as warm as he appears on their reality show. One essential thing I took away from our dialogue was how essential communication is in any relationship. Being involved with my significant other for close to 10 years, I can wholeheartedly agree. In fact I wouldn’t mind shouting it from the top of a tower. But effective communication isn’t something you just inherently know. It’s something you have to learn. You have to learn how to express yourself but more importantly, you have to learn how to listen!
If you have tuned in to “Tamar & Vince,” you aware of Tamar’s constant complaints about Vince’s apparent disinterest in her aspiring music career. Tamar made it very clear what kind of artist she wants to be…a hybrid of Beyonce and big sister Toni Braxton, who pops it, drops it, picks it back up and launches it across the room. Did we mention that she wanted to wear nipple tassels while doing so? Tamar, who coined the phrase “Have a seat,” needed to take her own advice and have a stadium full. But that’s the beauty about being in a relationship, your mate is there to tell you “have a seat,” or in the advice of Vince, stand there and just sing. Tamar’s arrogance almost makes you believe she’s untalented. No one who talks that much smack can actually have substance to back their claims, but never forget, she’s still a Braxton and can sing her a** off!
Tamar vocalized her desire to create upbeat music to which she can dance and shake her booty. Vince who, manages Lady Gaga and Mindless Behavior, has worked with everyone in the industry from Aaliyah to Faith Evans and instead of giving granting her wish for a pop-esque track, he gave her a ballad and now she sits atop Rihanna, Alicia Keys and more on the top of iTunes. And it only took 24 hours to happen.
When my co-worker first played “Love & War” for me, she was so excited. I instantly fell in love with it and said aloud, “Vince was not playing!” All of those times he told her to calm down and be patient wasn’t because he wasn’t interested or just more involved with his other artists, he was laying the foundation and bricks so his wife’s Manolos could smoothly walk across. But Tamar, like me and so many other women just couldn’t take the time to listen to not only our man’s words, but actions! You know your man has your best interest as heart when he cheers you on like Vince does Tamar.
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There’s something to be said here. There’s an underlying factor that my momma told me a while ago. She said “Let a man be a man.” And in this case, if he’s your manager, in Tamar and Vince’s case, let your manager, manage you! A man is here (so archaic of me, but so be it) to protect, deliver, enlighten his community and cherish his woman. And Vince delivered on his promises. But it wasn’t easy.
Let’s be clear here. I am not, for one minute saying lie like a mat for your man to walk over and control you. What I’m suggesting, is listening to your man on subjects he in which he is knowledgable. A man would know what other men would think of you if you wore a short dress to the club. How men look at women who linger at the bar. He can tell you things about yourself that you may have overlooked. Like the time my man told me I had on entirely too much makeup (I did) or the time Vince told Tamar she couldn’t wear something as scantily clad as booty shorts during her performance (whether Beyonce does it or not). Yes, I know, half the time men don’t know what the h*ll they are talking about that’s why it’s of utter importance to weed out the other 50 percent of valuable information and take heed. A relationship is a partnership. A couple should lift each other higher, physically and mentally. Rapper Fabolous said it best “You plus me, it equals better math.”
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Shamika (@HB_Shamika) December 12, 2012
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