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Along with your New Years resolution to slim down or quit smoking, make sure you remember to drop that loser you’re dating (or to stop being that loser yourself), because did you know there are six different types of cheaters? Dr. Doug Weiss does. The president of the American Association for Sex Addiction Therapy and founder of the counseling site SexAddict.com, explains that cheaters come in six varieties, so say “bye” to the Tiger Woods, Swizz Beatz, and Dwyane Wade’s of the world.
1. The Hero/Nice Guy Cheater
This is the person who “wants to help.” They want to rescue you, the damsel in distress, so to speak. This person wants to be a friend to you, talk about the your life, marriage, kids or job. The hero/nice guy’s adulterous heart is quick to praise you, quick to appreciate and quick to pick up on cues as to whether you are starting to trust them. They get excited when you trust them, because they are close to the kill. Even after sex, they want to be seen by the victim and themselves as a nice person.
“Heroes want a woman to tell them, ‘You’re wonderful,’” explains Dr. Weiss.
2. The Hurt/Wounded Cheater
This man plays the victim role, i.e. their spouse doesn’t love them, appreciate them or have sex with them. This is the person who is looking for someone, anyone to help them in life. They are the person you feel sorry for. That is their way of reeling in their victims. They are constantly looking to be saved, helped or delivered from their circumstances or current bad marriage. They attack victims with their neediness.
“He manipulates women through pity,” says Dr. Weiss.
3. The Professional Cheater
This type of cheater is typically a man. He is not looking for love, nor does he care about the other person’s wants, needs or what they think of him. He wants to be serviced. He believes he is paying for the confidentiality of their sexual acts. This person tends to have stashes of cash that nobody is aware of. They want to look normal to themselves. They have the nice wife, kids and regular vacations, but they want to be bad when they want to be bad. They rationalize, “Nobody knows, nobody gets hurt.”
“They professional cheater is looking for anonymity above all,” Dr. Weiss says.
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