Send your questions to Terrance: firstname.lastname@example.org
Dear Gay Best Friend,
I’ve been with my man for about a year now. We met at a store near my school. When we first got together it was mainly to have sex. We hooked up about a week after we met. He got arrested and had to spend a year in jail. We wrote back and forth and his letters dripped with sweet promises.
My problem is since he’s been out (about 3 weeks now) we’ve hung out maybe once and it was at his house, where we both were falling in and out of sleep. We’ve had sex on a regular basis, but I am wondering if this is where it ends? Before he was arrested he asked me to be his lady and I accepted. We’ve talked about how we want the relationship to go, but I still feel like his sex partner. We don’t kiss too much and after we have sex he runs off and does his own thing. I am 20-years old, and will be turning 21 next month and he is 28-years old. Am I jumping to conclusions or should I just wait things out? Simply Confused Dee
Dear Simply Confused Dee,
Tsk, Tsk, Tsk! You obviously don’t read my columns on the regular, nor have you bought my new book, STRAIGHT FROM YOUR GAY BEST FRIEND. I know this because if you followed my column and read my book then we wouldn’t be here today, and nor would you be sending me this foolishness of a mess letter.
So, you were a sex partner with some random dude you met a store near your school. He asked you to be his lady, then this boy gets arrested, spends a year in jail, comes home, you go back to what you were doing before he went to jail, which is sex, and you want to know if you have a relationship with him? LMBAO! Girl, you silly.
He’s been out of jail for three weeks and you’ve only hung out with him once. You don’t kiss too much, and after sex he runs off and does his own thing. Please, please, please baby Jesus make it stop!
Okay, wait a minute, I can’t believe that your less than common-sense-self waited a year for this fool who was locked up in jail while you were in the free world. You’re joking, right? I mean really. You’re joking?
If a man is not treating you like a woman, or a lady, and only calls you to have sex, and you let him come and go, then guess what? You are a ho! You are a tramp! You are not his main woman. He’s playing you like this sad letter you wrote and it’s on repeat on your favorite station Y-O-U-D-O-N-T-H-A-V-E-A-C-L-U-E.
First of all, girl, you are 20-years old. Yes, eight years younger than him. What are you two doing? What are you talking about? What do you have in common? I hate to break it to you, uhm, yes I do, but he is not feeling you the same way you are feeling him. He does not see you as his woman, or his lady. You are someone to kick it with from time to time. You are a side piece, you know, like when you go to the restaurant and they ask you what two sides you want with your meat, you’re one of those side pieces. And, when he’s not feeling you, he is dipping off with some other young girl, or his main girl, while you’re sitting at home playing text-tag (I like that!) trying to figure out where he is, what he’s doing, and when he’s coming back to see you.
Look, Ms. Simply Confused Dee, you are young. You have your whole life ahead of you, and besides, you’re in school. Why are you wondering if you and he are an item? You need to be cracking open those books and learning something useful other than running like a chicken with her head cut off chasing after that bum. I mean, don’t you want a man who doesn’t have a criminal record? Don’t you want a man, and I mean a real man, who has something going on for himself and is willing to have you in his life? Girl, take that Simply Confused sign off your forehead and bury it in the backyard. You’re too old to be that naïve and tricked. Grow up, get some self-esteem, learn how to love yourself, buy my new book, and let bygones be bygones, and that means his ass is gone! – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend
Make sure to get your copy of my new book, STRAIGHT FROM YOUR GAY BEST FRIEND – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Work, and Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden – October 2010; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, HERE!