Death to Facebook and their invasive notifications! Seriously! Not too long ago, I was scrolling through my news feed and realized another one of my “friends” was engaged, and the comments kept rolling in.

“Congrats!”

“Ah man, I’m so happy for the both of you.”

“When’s the wedding? I better get an invite!”

The comments continued for God knows how long. So I did the polite thing, hit the “LIKE” button and kept it moving. I logged off and checked Instagram, and I was only two or three pictures in, and what do I see? Another college buddy of mine who posted pics of their wedding.

“You look gorgeous!”

“So proud of you two! Congrats again.”

“That dress is everything!”

By this point, I was scared to check Twitter because If I saw an I’m-expecting-my-first child-Tweet, I don’t think I would’ve been able to handle it!

I’m six years removed from college and I feel like I’m just getting started in a lot of aspects of my life. I’ve finally found my dream gig, working in the entertainment-media industry after years of trying to climb through the back window. But now that I’m finally here, folks are starting families and buying homes. It makes me wonder–Am I behind in life?

I know. I know. Everyone moves at their own pace, yada yada yada. It’s not about crossing the finish line first, blah blah blah. You get there when you get there…all that jazz. But these folks and I are the same age, yet I feel like they’re accomplishing so much more. Why? What are they doing? Or better yet, what am I not doing?

And it’s not just on a personal level. Professionally, they’ve made leaps and bounds as well, getting promotions and becoming “executive directors of finance acquisition” or something else really important and here I am, just starting out.

I’m 27-years-old and I still live at home with my mom, but aside from being almost 30, I don’t even feel ready to tackle some of the things my college friends are, like parenting, marriage. You know, all those adult things college kids eventually mature and end up doing.

What does that say about me as a person? To a certain degree I feel like a slacker. Like, I’m the only one not progressing and making smart decisions. 

I could be putting way too much pressure on myself, but when you see others achieve things you want, before you, it makes you wonder if you’ve taken one too many wrong turns.

We’re going to keep this one short, ladies. But am I alone here? Did I simply make too many mistakes in my early 20s that I’m now paying for? Or is it just not my time yet? I’m wise enough to know that my time will come. But sometimes I feel like I’m going to be the last one picked for the team, if you get my drift. 

C’mon, talk to me.  Let’s get a conversation going.

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Last week I spoke at Fisk University and Saturday I address the graduates at Stillman College in Tuscaloosa, Alabama.

As with all commencement speeches, my goal is to  motivate and inspire, something I struggled with this year more than others. I mean, there are always some proud moments that distinguish a class from previous ones.  In 1963, Vivian Malone and James Hood registered for school at Alabama State despite Gov. George Wallace blocking their way. In 1978, the Supreme Court upheld affirmative action.  In 1995, the Million Man March was held in Washington.  In 2008, Barack Obama was elected to the presidency of the United States.

But even with highlights like Gabby winning the gold and the re-election of the Big Chief, we have to face the fact that the class of 2013 will graduate facing major debt and high unemployment.

But I only had to wallow in this puddle of gloom and doom for a short time until I realized that in spite of the way the future looks, getting a four-year college degree is the first weapon in the fight for good jobs most graduates seek.

One article I read outlines the benefits of having a college degree including higher lifetime earning, access to jobs with better benefits, and the fact that it opens the door to networking opportunities that can turn into more. But even if this is true, and I believe it is, the bottom line is most college graduates are going to have to work longer and harder to achieve their goals, even if those goals are as basic as moving out of their mama’s and daddy’s house in two years.

The Michigan coach just hadn’t checked them yet.

“I’ve been absorbed in Northwestern tape,” Beilein said.

The Wolverines are No. 1 in The Associated Press’ college basketball poll for the first time since their Fab Five days 20 years ago, but Beilein is determined not to get carried away with all this recognition.

Michigan took over the top spot after a 74-60 victory at Illinois on Sunday night. Next up on the schedule is Northwestern, and there’s no reason for the routine to change.

“Our goal at Michigan is to be No. 1 in the Big Ten. When you achieve that honor, you will have a chance at the national championship,” Beilein said. “All through the year polls will spark great interest among college basketball fans everywhere and that is always good. Our coaches and players, however, will remain focused on our goals of improving daily and competing for the championship within our conference.”

Michigan is doing pretty well in that regard, too. The Wolverines tied for the Big Ten title last year, and they’re deadlocked atop the league right now with No. 3 Indiana. The Hoosiers host Michigan on Saturday night.

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Since 2006, thousands of collegiate young ladies have been logging onto Seeking Arrangement, a site for many who “possess high standards but don’t have a lot of time to date the traditional way,” according to the founder Brandon Wey. One of the site’s fastest growing features allows “sugar babies”–young college girls desperate for funds–and “sugar daddies”–rich men, typically older, willing to “sponsor” a sugar baby’s education–to create profiles. As nothing in this life is free, the financial contribution comes with a price of companionship, sex or both.

According to Huffington Post, Taylor, a sugar baby from Harlem, connected with her sugar daddy who appeared to be 30 years older than her through Seeking Arrangement. She met him in Greenwich, CT, where he picked her up from the train station and chauffeured her back to his lavish home. Upon arriving, they both changed into swimwear and she “rubbed sunscreen into the folds of his sagging back.” The “date” ended “in his bedroom, where he peeled off her bikini.” For her time and services, he drove her back to the train station and gave her $350–which she felt was decent money.

Taylor claims that even though she felt dirty, “I needed the money for school. I just did what needed to be done.” She never heard from the first “gentleman” again, but continued to pursue others. Unfortunately, there are way too many sugar babies who are in desperate need of financial aid. The reality that there are men out there, some even willing to pay $2,400/year to belong to Seeking Arrangement’s Diamond Club so there profile constantly pops up in search results, is disturbing and disgusting. And to add insult to injury, approximately 40% of the sugar daddies are married men.

Despite some who recognize the dangers like freshman April Doyle who said, “It’s not worth it at all… I think people can get kidnapped, hurt and killed;” there are still ever-growing numbers of sugar babies each semester. From 2007 to 2011, sugar babies increased from 38,303 to 179,906; and with more and more girls trying to earn a degree without drowning in loan debt, the number is only expected to increase.

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Seeking Arrangement, unfortunately, isn’t the only site of its kind as there are SeekingTution.com and SugarDaddyMeet.com. The fact that these sites are legally allowed to run their twisted variations of prostitution services is shocking to me. The ads are very direct, as SeekingTuition.com says, “Find that special someone to help you with books, dorm, rent or tuition today!” Honestly, I can’t really see much difference between these sites and prostitution other than one is carried out over the web and the other is initiated on the street corner. Both situations typically end up in the same place.

I can’t fault or judge these sugar babies, as I don’t know their stories or financial situations and cannot really relate. I will say, though, it’s a very dangerous and unwise decision. In the fortunate event that you are unharmed physically, you still have an emotional and mental life that is scarred and will probably suffer as a result of sleeping with someone who you don’t love and who you know doesn’t love you. As expensive as college is, the price is not worth your spirit and body.

What do you thing of this whole “sugaring” business? Have you or do you know anyone who has taken advantage of the services? Do you think sites like Seeking Arrangement should be legal?

Let’s keep in touch! Follow me on Twitter: @VerityReign

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Obama will give speeches at the University of North Carolina and the University of Colorado Tuesday, pushing his proposal to prevent a scheduled hike in rates for subsidized Stafford Loans. In 2007, Congress and President Bush agreed to gradually reduce the interest rates of these loans from 6.8 to 3.4 percent, but that provision expires in July, and new loans would be issued with the 6.8 percent rate if legislation is not passed.

The Department of Education estimates the increase would result in about $1,000 in additional loan costs for each student. African-Americans carry the highest levels of high student debt among demographic groups, as 16 percent of black graduates owe more than $40,000 in loans, according to a recent Philadelphia Inquirer report.

About eight million American students use subsidized Stafford loans each year, most of whom are in households with income below $50,000. These loans have particular appeal because the federal government pays the interest rates on them when students are in college, while students are responsible for the interest of unsubsidized federal Stafford Loans as soon as they start borrowing.

This debate, like nearly all in Washington, has a political element as well. Some Republicans are objecting to the change, which would cost about $6 billion a year, arguing it will add to the deficit. And Obama’s aggressive push the reduced loan cost now is no doubt related to his need to win voters ages 18-29 in November.

That bloc of voters overwhelmingly supports Obama (he had a 28-point lead over Mitt Romney among these voters in a recent Pew Research Center poll), but even Democratic pollsters acknowledge many voters have been disappointed the president has not been able to reduce partisanship in Washington as he promised. While they are unlikely to back Romney in large numbers, these young voters may decide to stay home, as they did in 2010, which would be a major blow to Obama’s chances at winning a second term.

I, too, have wondered whether the outrageous amount of money parents sink into college is paying off in an economy where grads are struggling to find work. But I still don’t think I’m brave enough to tell my kids not to go. Studies still show that you have a better chance of finding employment the more education you have.

I guess these kids could do this for a few years and then go to school. But would they? And if tides change and their innovations no longer support them, would they be employable?

What do you think?

On Sunday March 13 ESPN aired their highly-anticipated documentary on The University Of Michigan’s “Fab 5″ a basketball team lead by five black freshman (Jalen Rose, Chris Webber, Juwan Howard, Jimmy King and Ray Jackson) who brought a hip-hop sensibility to American sports.

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In addition to reliving their inspirational (albeit disappointing) run at a national championships in 1992 and 1993, the program put a spotlight on the issue of student athletes not being compensated. Retired NBA star Chris Webber lamented as a student athlete that he was broke while his Michigan jersey sold in the campus store for $75. Dr. Boyce Watkins weighed in on the topic for AOL BlackVoices:

The most intriguing aspect of the Fab Five special on ESPN was not their exploits on the basketball court (which were amazing), it was the conversation about money. When these five young men stepped onto the court for the University of Michigan, they instantly became cash cows for their universities. Sales of University of Michigan merchandise went from $1.5 million per year to over $10 million per year shortly after their first season. Jalen Rose, one of the members of the Fab Five, mentioned seeing that Nike had released a sneaker named after the group, and they regularly found their academic schedules being interrupted with trips around the world to promote a brand that was making everyone rich except for their own families.

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Winter break is a great relief from the mundane routine that is college life. You get to be lazy for a month, non- proactive and maybe even fit some sleep into your usually hectic schedule. The problem with all this fun is that sometimes you get too stuck in the luxury of doing nothing and then you have to get back on the grind. Snapping yourself out of it can be tough, but we have the solution to this problem. Here are five ways to get back on the grind, when school kicks back into session.

1.Get a Holiday Job or Internship
This is great time to get a job and make some extra money. Stores are hiring like crazy during the holiday season. We all know how expensive college can be, so why sit around and gain the freshman 15, when you can work and save money to pay off some of that college debt. Working will keep your brain active and your body use to performing at a certain level of activity. An internship is also a good way to keep you active. You will gain work experience for that future resume you will have to make, in order to gain employment after college.

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2. Create a Workout Routine
Getting in shape is a great New Year’s resolution and a good way to shake the stress from the finals you just took. Working out is a good way to  keep your stress levels down when you return to school. It will keep your body in shape, you won’t gain weight during the holidays and you can carry your workouts into the new semester. Try some new workouts that vary from the usually gym type exercises. Yoga, Tai Chi, Pilates and running are all great workouts.

3.Stay Educated
Most people take this opportunity to just be lazy and catch up on a season of their favorite television show. I think the best solution to prevent brain failure during the winter break is to take a winter break class. Another solution is to email one of your professors, so you can order your books ahead of time and read them before the semester begins. Keeping your brain active is a sure way to succeed in college. The more you use it, the better it works.

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4.Volunteer Somewhere
This is the season for giving and sometimes the best gift you can give is your time. There are a number of people and places that have more to worry about than college finals. Volunteering not only humbles you, but it also makes you open minded to the world around you; it will also give back to the community.

5. A Week Before Class, Try Waking Up Early
Your body is full of cells that have memory just like your brain. So waking up early is something that you usually program your body to get accustomed to. A week before you start school, especially if you have early morning classes, set your alarm to seven or eight am. This will help your body get use to being proactive during that time of day.

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So, why is it that when I write a blog post about poor spending behaviors, the first person to disagree always justifies their opinion with “I’m a college graduate . . . ” as if that means anything to me. Guess what? I’m a college graduate, as well and I left one of the best institutions on the West Coast with thousands of dollars of debt not including student loans. I had grants, scholarships, parental support and a full time job all four years. I was a Dean’s List student that unfortunately just sucked with money. I wasn’t out buying designer bags and taking Spring Break excursions either. It was truly the little things that added up and I actually fell for the “Life Takes Visa” slogan!

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Luckily, the light bulb came on early and I was able to turn things around fairly quickly, but what happens to the college graduate who is stellar academically, as well as in their chosen career and still doesn’t know how to manage money?

Here are 3 reasons college graduates may still find themselves in a money rut:

1. We have the “I’ve made it/I deserve it!” attitude. As college graduates, we tend to want everyone to know that we’ve made it. As soon as the ink settles on our first offer letter, we’re out leasing luxury cars, dressing in designer everything (for our new position, of course) and moving to the “good” side of town. The difference is that as super intellectual college graduates, we don’t want to admit that we’re trying to keep up with the Kardashians, so we say, “I have to look the part to be taken seriously in my career” or “I went to college and I deserve this (insert unnecessary indulgence here).”

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La La Vasquez Says Kim K Needs A “Suit & Tie” Man [from PopEater.com]

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