As a single mom raised by another single mother, I’ve thought about this question countless times. “Can single women raise boys to become men?”

Sure, I can teach my 9 year old son how to take out the trash, open the doors for young ladies even put down the toilet seat as a courtesy to the other women in the house. But can I teach him to be a man?

Related Link: Parent 2 Parent: “My Pregnancy Was A Nightmare!”

One morning he asked a very serious “male-oriented” question and I didn’t have a clue how to answer it. Very inquisitively he asked, “mommy, why is my we-we ALWAYS up in the morning? huh, why can’t this thing just go down and stay!” ….referring to his man parts of course. The only thing I could say was, “Umm, you need to go call your dad for that answer!”

YES. Single parenting is difficult. BUT, is it impossible for a single mother to raise a boy? I would say NO, not impossible…but it’s certainly not easy.

No matter what others may think about single women raising boys, without a great support system for you and your child in place will create more than a few daily challenges.

Related Link: Parent 2 Parent: Never Underestimate Your Kids!

In this month’s Ebony’s magazine which is on stands now, read singer-songwriter and single mom Jill Scott’s views on the issue by clicking here.

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Having a difficult first pregnancy is mentally and physically exhausting. Trust me, I know. During that time, it was hard to understand why I experienced difficulties from Fibroid tumors, high blood pressure to severe preeclampsia, headaches, dizzy spells also swelling in my legs and feet. What made matters worse; the complications started during my second trimester and lasted beyond delivery.

Because of that, my son was born premature by c-section and rushed to the newborn intensive care unit, NICU at 32 weeks, weighing just 3 pounds 12 ounces. Can you imagine holding your newborn and he’s the length from your wrist to elbow?

Needless to say, I was completely nervous and overwhelmed.

Fast forward 9 years later, I’m grateful to have a healthy, happy 80+ pounds child. I’m extremely thankful for the March of Dimes organization, for providing resources and raising awareness for babies born too soon.

Every year, more than half a million babies are born too soon, 15,340 of them right here in Michigan. One reason I chose to walk in the “March for Babies” next month with my cousin Kiawha Conley, is to help support the organizations mission for families if something does go wrong during pregnancy.

When you walk in March for Babies, you give hope to the more than half a million babies born too soon each year. The money you raise supports programs in your community that help moms have healthy, full-term pregnancies. And it funds research to find answers to the problems that threaten our babies.

This year’s walk is on April 28, 2013 at Oakland University, 2200 N. Squirrel Rd., Rochester, MI 48309. Registration Time: 9:00 AM Start Time: 10:00 AM

If you would like to make a small donation to help us raise money for the walk for babies, please click Kiawha’s March of Dimes page here.

To find out more visit http://www.marchofdimes.com/michigan/

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President Obama condemned Rosen’s remarks, saying, “there’s no tougher job than being a mom” and “when I think about what Michelle’s had to do, when I think about my own mom, a single mother raising me and my sister, that’s work. Anybody who would argue otherwise I think, probably needs to rethink their statement.”

While women across the country reacted to Rosen’s comments, some black women were mute on the topic. Unlike women of other ethnicities, black women have traditionally not had the choice to become stay-at-home mothers.

According to “Historical Changes in Stay-at-Home Mothers: 1969 to 2009″ by Rose M. Kreider and Diana B. Elliot the number of stay-at-home mothers has decreased from 9.8 million in 1969 to 5.7 million in 2009.

“Black women were about half as likely as White women to be a stay-at-home mother, while the odds for women of other races did not differ from those of White women,” Kreider and Elliot write.

Historically, black women have always worked.

“There is evidence that married black women have always been employed outside of the house in large numbers,” (Landry 2000) Kreider and Elliot note. “Even black mothers with young children were in the work force following World War II, when many of their white counterparts had withdrawn from the labor force” (Thistle 2006).

Now, the economy is perhaps the biggest reason why the idea of being a stay-at-mother for black women hasn’t been a reality. The recession took a toll on the economic status of many Americans and the black community was hit particularly hard.

The 8.2 percent unemployment rate is nearly double that for African-Americans at 14 percent.

“Women usually have better success getting jobs than black men do,” said Dr. Camille Charles, a Professor of Sociology and Africana Studies at the University of Pennsylvania. “So if you’re talking about a two parent household, she’s more likely to end up being the one to pick up the slack because historically the women have been more employable and more desirable employees because of the gender stereotypes we have as African-Americans.”

Black women have an unemployment rate of about 12.3 percent, slightly lower than the 13.8 percent unemployment rate for black men. Black men and women have long worked to close the wealth gap between themselves and other ethnicities.

“The woman’s not going to be the one to stop working and stay home,” said Charles. “She might be the bigger earner. And as long as marriage and divorce rates are the way that they are now, and other contentious things in the black community, I don’t think women are going to feel secure in giving up their careers.”

During the late eighties and early nineties, fictional character Clair Huxtable in The Cosby Show embodied being a supermom. She had her own career; she was a dedicated mother and a loving wife. She was a symbol for many black women that they too could have and do it all.

Michelle Obama represents a similar ideal for many women today. She had a successful career as a lawyer before she became the first lady of the United States. She is now technically a stay-at-home mom, but her unique position makes her more of an outlier than the norm.

“I don’t think [being a stay at home mother] has ever been a realistic option for the vast majority of black women,” Charles added. “And even if we think about the black women who are married to the very few men who have the status where they can stay home – you’re talking about a very small percentage of women who can do that comfortably.”

Another reason why black women may have not have the option to stay home is because of the number of single mothers in the black community.

In 2008, 72 percent of African-American babies were born to unwed mothers, according to a Pew Research report. Blacks were less likely than whites to be married, and black children were nearly three times as likely as white children to live with one parent.

Kuae Mattox is president of Mocha Moms, Inc., a support group for mothers who have decided not to work full-time outside of the home. Mattox is a stay-at-home mother who never imagined not working. She received her master’s from Columbia University and went on to climb the ladder at national news organizations before deciding that staying home was the best choice for her family.

“There are many in the black community and in society who don’t understand the value of what we’re doing,” said Mattox. “We understand very well, particularly in our organization, that a stay at home mom in January could be a working mom in September.”

Maria Smith is another black stay-at-home mother and a journalist who describes her family as middle class.

“We’re not the Romney’s,” said Smith, “We have sacrificed so that I can stay home. Not all families who have parents staying home are upper class. We don’t live in mansions and all have maids and help for our kids and all that stuff that some one-percent type moms do.”

Being a part of the upper echelon is just one label that black stay at home moms are given.

“When I was growing up, it never entered my mind that I would become a stay at home mother,” said Mattox. “This was unheard of years and years ago — our parents grew up and fought in the civil rights movement and their dream was to grow up and go to a good college and work their way up the corporate ladder.”

Professional women who give up their careers to raise their families are sometimes seen as throwing away their hard earned success and erasing that progress which past generations worked to achieve through hard fought battles.

“Being a stay at home mother is a shift in who you are,” said Smith, “It is about identity. I was never associated, myself, with just being a television producer; that was just what I did. But those lines get blurred a lot.”

The societal implication that staying at home means you are living a life of luxury versus solely fulfilling domestic duties is not necessarily representative of what mothers at home are doing. Their reality is more complex.

“The whole notion of stay at home mom it’s a huge misnomer, and it implies passivity,” said Mattox, “The moms I’ve met — they don’t stay at home. They are home based parents, but they are moms who are grassroots organizers, PTA organizers, and they are out participating in their communities.”

Balancing career and family life is a natural expectation for African-American women.

“We don’t see the mommy wars as our wars – we have friends, mothers and aunts who all worked,” said Mattox. “It would be hypocritical of us to disparage people who worked and to tell people what to do – you have to decide what’s best for you and your family.”

Ashani O’Mard is a grant development manager who manages a part-time schedule and raising her two children. She has sacrificed having a higher income for time with her family.

“I didn’t know exactly what I wanted, but I knew I wanted to be a Clair Huxtable when I grew up,” said O’Mard, “My career is very important to me and I wanted to continue to cultivate my professional development, but I did make a choice that it was second to my family. It’s a complex issue. You have to sacrifice something and figure out what’s the most important thing for you.”

According to the Journal of Blacks in Higher Education, there is still a racial gap that exists in education, but the college graduation rate for black students has improved over the past three years.

“We would not be given the choice to stay home if it weren’t for the economic opportunities awarded to our husbands,” said Mattox.

Source: msnbc.cn

Arthur Christmas
Release Date: Nov. 23
Target Age: Young Kids
What’s the Buzz?: From the animators responsible for Wallace & Gromit and Chicken Run comes this English holiday comedy about Father Christmas’ (that’s Santa to us Yanks) son Arthur (voiced by James McAvoy), who must find a way to use his father’s state-of-the-art North Pole technology to deliver the correct present to one special little girl by Christmas morning.

Hugo
Release Date: Nov. 23
Target Age: Tweens
What’s the Buzz?: Based on author Brian Selznick’s award-winning illustrated novel, this is the first family film to be directed by legendary director Martin Scorsese. Set in 1930s Paris, the story follows young orphan Hugo Cabret (Asa Butterfield) as he uncovers the mystery of his father’s disappearance, all while living in the walls of a train station. An epic adventure from an Oscar-winning director, Hugo is one of the most highly anticipated movies of the season.

The Muppets
Release Date: Nov. 23
Target Age: Young Kids and Tweens
What’s the Buzz?: Families will have plenty to choose from over Thanksgiving break as the first Muppet movie in 12 years hits the big screen. Starring the always adorable Amy Adams and Jason Segel — not to mention everyone’s favorite Muppet characters Kermit, Piggy, Fozzy, and the gang — the live-action comedy is sure to be a crowd-pleaser for all ages.

New Year’s Eve
Release Date: Dec. 9
Target Age: Tweens and Teens
What’s the Buzz?: Like Valentine’s Day, this multiple-storyline romantic comedy will feature more than a dozen characters (played by A-list stars, naturally) as they navigate New Year’s Eve in New York City. Teens will especially be drawn to the stories starring Ashton Kutcher and Glee‘s Lea Michele, teen actress Abigail Breslin, and High School Musical‘s Zac Efron.

Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chip-Wrecked
Release Date: Dec. 16
Target Age: Young Kids
What’s the Buzz?: Alvin, Simon, and Theodore are back, and this time they’re getting their vacation on with their long-suffering guardian Dave (Jason Lee) and the three Chipettes (from Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel). Plenty of song-and-dance numbers later, the ‘munks and their gal pals wind up ashore on a deserted island. Your young elementary schoolers will squeal in delight.

Read more

The site is called Chocolate Hair Vanilla Care and chronicles her everyday activities such as growing hair, products, and step-by-step instructions. Hadley also talks about what it means to be a vanilla mama of a chocolate girl, and how she explores identity, respect, and empowerment, using hair as their common language.

Our friends over at the loop21.com, recently spoke to Hadley about her blog, challenges and reactions from the African-American community.

Loop 21: What made you come up with the idea to start ChocolateHairVanillaCare.com?

Rory: I have been maintaining a personal family blog for many years. I think I started my first one back in 2004. When our daughter came home in 2007, I started another family blog that chronicled all parts of raising our daughtA Father’s Labor Of Love…Braiding Her Hairer. As she got older, and her hair longer, I would find myself frequently approached by other adoptive families while out shopping. They would ask me so many questions that I could scarcely answer them all in a mere 15-minute public interaction. With encouragement from friends and family I finally decided to separate the hair-related items out of my personal blog and launch a public forum—that way I had an easy place to point people who asked me questions. I had cards made and passed them out whenever I was approached. That was in September of last year.

READ THE REST HERE

A Father’s Labor Of Love…Braiding Her Hair

7 Great Parenting Tips For Moms

On The Scene

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For some toddlers it takes a lot more than the sandman to help them find the way. The average toddler, defined as 18 months up to age three, requires about 12-14 hours of sleep each day, although some get by on much less. Most toddlers start with two naps, one in the morning, and one in the afternoon. By age 2 ½ most have given up the morning nap.

Studies show that a human’s growth hormone is the highest in the night.” In fact, by 30 months toddlers have gained about four times their birth weight, grown an average 2 to 2 ½ inches per year and acquired most of their baby teeth.

Remember though, there are times when sleep issues don’t stem from the toddler but from family expectations. Parents who are overworked or who face job changes may need the child to sleep so they themselves can get some rest, but children will sleep when they are tired, not when the parent is tired.

READ THE REST HERE

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1. A few good hours of gardening. If Mother’s Day weekend happens to bring wonderful weather to your neighborhood, why not plan to be outside with one of the ladies you love most? Offer to take care of the weeding or other lawn chores that your mom hasn’t gotten to yet this season, or bring her a big basket of flowers, herbs, or veggies to plant.

And let’s be honest — gardening can be a great activity if things get tense in your mother-daughter relationship, especially if you have room to breathe in the outdoor space, and if you can view the planting, lugging, and raking as therapeutic outlets for the other digs you may feel.

Calorie-burn bonus: Gardening can be more than just an enjoyable day outdoors, depending on the activity.Planting seedlings and trimming shrubs and 0perating a power mower for an hour each burn 306 calories and digging, spading, or filling compost burns 340 calories per hour and watering while walking or standing burns 102 calories per hour. (based on a 150-pound person).

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Mother’s Day Recipe: Heather B’s Chocolate-Red Cupcake

Celebs And Their Moms

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GALLERY: Mother’s Day Gift Guide

That’s right, it’s nearly Mother’s Day!

Normally on Mother’s Day, in my family at least after years of heinous presents, my mom drops subtle hints to which gift she wants, or she just buys something herself and tells my brother and I to wrap it. Mother’s Day shopping is the worst. Worse than jeans and bra shopping combined. A Mother’s Day gift needs to express to your mom how much you love her, and it needs to be something that she (not you) will like. If you, like me, can’t stomach the thought of another year, trudging around department stores searching for the perfect gift for your mother, which is in the right price range and tells her just how special she really is to you, never fear, HelloBeautiful is here!

We have selected 10 of the best gifts for this Mother’s Day all under $100. So if you need a gift for your mother, (or you are going to take a leaf out of my mom’s book and shop for yourself), check out our gallery….

10 Mother’s Day Gift Ideas Under $100

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Celebrate Mother’s Day On A Budget

Mothers Day

10. Skillz “You Only Get One”

A rare cut off Skillz 2005 “Confessions of A Ghostwriter” album. Skillz manage to be lyrical and deeply express the love he has for his mother who has passed away. Get a good listen now because this track is one that is not all over the net.

9. Nas- Dance

Nas remembers his mother on the God’s Son album track. Many children seem to keep the memory of dancing with their mom or dad. Nas wish he could have had just one more dance with his mom.

8. Musiq- MotherFather

Musiq express how thankful he is for all Motherfather has done for him. In his own classic style he expresses the lesson he learned growing up. I think many parents want to hear that their child has learned from them.

7. Ashanti- Mother

I’m sure Ashanti had no problem expressing her feelings through music for her mom since she has played a very key part in Ashanti’s music career. She and her mom seem to have a very close relationship.

6. Jay-Z- Momma Loves Me

Jay-Z has always stated he grew up with no dad. He raps about all things his Mother had done for him growing up along with the role other family members played in his life.

5. Kanye West – Hey Mama

Kanye loved his mother Donda West very much and we all saw how hard is was for him when she passed. On the “Late Registration” cut, Kanye is making promises and apologizing while telling his mom how he felt.

4. R. Kelly – Sadie

R-Kelly took the time to dedicate one song to his mother off the classic 12 Play album. R-Kelly had a way of putting something new on that old school sound. Considering that most of the songs on “12 Play” were about making love or bumping and grinding this one would stand out.

3. Boyz II Men- A Song For Momma

2. Ghostface Killah – All That I Got Is You

Ghostface just may have had the formula to create this soulful hip hop record or maybe its the Mary J. Blige effect. This is another classic with MJB on the hook for a TUD top 10. This record told the story of many families in New York City and around the world.

1. 2pac – Dear Mama

The time the song was released was very key. Tupac was in prison and had a lot of drama going on in his life. “Dear Mama” told a brief story on where he came from and the role his mother played in getting him to be a man.

Celebs And Their Moms

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Top 10 Hip Hop Love Songs

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Top 10 The Notorious B.I.G. Songs

The show is full of all the characters you and your kids love, it’s action packed, upbeat, full of incredible singing and dancing, with animal costumes to die for! This is definitely one show the whole family can enjoy together. And to make the deal even sweeter, Radio City is offering 25% off select tickets, so there really is no reason you can make to miss this special, once in a lifetime, event.

The show will run for a strictly limited engagement, from April 15 to April 24, with tickets priced between $29- $145, so be sure to get in quick!

Click here for tickets!

To get your kids even more excited, or to brush up on your own “Madagascar” knowledge, be sure to check out msg.com’s “Madagascar” quiz

See you at the show!

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Hottest Celeb Pics Of The Week

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