If we don’t lift them up, who will?
Black men need us to have their backs.
What they don’t need is for us to:
1. Put them in harmful, dangerous or volatile situations.
2. Make them feel like they have to prove that they love us.
3. Make them feel they aren’t worthy of us
4. Feed their insecurities.
5. Ignore the pressures of being judged, profiled, and belittled.
In reality, it takes a strong woman to do these things. I think the only one who might have consistently done all five was Ruby Dee. And Ossie Davis isn’t here any longer to tell us any different.
But seriously, it takes a courageous woman to stand back to back with her man, able to be there when he needs to lean on her and remembering to lean on him to remind him of his strength. It takes a “new independent woman” to understand that her degree, her bank account, and her goals should be used to help hold down her family, not to build herself up. And it takes a smart woman to know when she needs to protect her man from the world – even if it’s for his own good.
My dad wasn’t perfect, but my mom found a way to always make him appear that way in our eyes.
If you’re a black man, especially, please weigh in on whether these tips are on point and what else you need on the regular. Yeah, that too. But also share some advice for Kanye and other young men trying to maneuver through this world as husbands, fathers, breadwinners, etc. You never know what words might help heal a heart, calm a soul …or avoid a lawsuit!