(Don’t Feed The Trolls)
This sign went from being my screen saver to my avatar and more recently, my life philosophy, to be shouted from the rooftops of every social network I could find. It was a great way to remind folks that there are a gang of folks out there that, despite our many attempts at fake deep enlightenment, still feed on f*ckery and negative attention. Now most times these anonymous mouth breathers are just a-holes with Internet looking to get a rise out of people. But the recent rash of celeb faces attached to the act-up have gotten blatant to the point of asking:
Where Were Your Boys?? A.K.A. Has It REALLY Come To This?!
This is what it takes to sell albums? Earl Sweatshirt, heralded as the Nas-level lyricist of Odd-Future, on camera with a wig calling himself Mocha Desire while speaking on ostrich rights and hitting on… himself? Dude… I won’t ask where your boys were. Mostly because your boys are Odd Future and they were probably too busy wig shopping to join you but I’m sure Frank Ocean shot the side-eye at Earls do-it-your-self groupie kit.
And how many bottles of Bellaire did Khaled and Nicki knock off to come up with the
proposal marketing strategy? Should we, the people, believe this is a publicity stunt OR are we really supposed to believe that you needed to propose to the women you want to spend the rest of your life with over TV because she’s too busy to take your calls?! Dude, you should have taken the hint before you took out a loan for that ring. If this ain’t a publicity stunt, it’s the G.O.A.T. creep move.
I’m guessing the only thing Khaled aint suffering from, other than sales is sobriety.
Where in the hell were the publicists?! Who decided that Earl in drag was a good way to sell his album? Who told Khaled that the world’s thirstiest proposal would get the barbs to believe he’s suffering from success? Have the gimmicks really evolved to this? Has the marketing departments all been downsized at the same time? Is pushing your product worth pushing our people via a virtual shuck-&-Jive back to square one?
NOBODY at the label thought to say: Hey Khaled! Stop yelling for a second, we gotta talk! Listen, I know the album didn’t do too well this time around… Yes, yes, I know… “We Da Best” indeed. Listen though; I got a glance at this new plan… I’m not sure elevating you to King Creep status is going to help the numbers. Maybe we just put a call in to the head of Minaj marketing and say ”listen Scaff, we’re going to have to pass on this one, keep pitching though!” Sound good? I’ll set it up.
Or how about a quick pass through to OFWGKTA Records for a convo like: “Earl, listen. We’re having a super difficult time marketing you to girls. It’s just that, well you look like… have you ever seen the movie ‘Gremlins?’ No? Oh right , before your time. Well see the thing is, when you put on a wig… have you by any chance seen Gremlins 2?”
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