• Panties Aren’t the Problem: Talking to Your Kids About Sex

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    kidsYou would never subject your teenaged daughter, niece or little sister to sexual objectification, right?  You wouldn’t encourage her to dance in a strip club, surgically enhance the size of her breasts, or become the next Video Vixen.   But some people think we may inadvertently be sending our young girls down this road in ways we may not have thought about.

    One Texas pastor has made it his cause to call out Victoria Secret’s PINK Line for marketing its “racy” underwear to teens and tweens.

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     Rev. Evan Dolive of Houston who is the father of a young girl, in a video post that went viral, says the lingerie maker, is wrong for selling colorful underwear with the slogans, “I Dare You, “Feeling Lucky,” and “Wild.”

    “They need to know they’re not objects,” he said.

    In its defense, Victoria Secret released a statement that said, PINK and its “Bright Young Thing” collection is a brand targeted  toward college-aged women.

    No doubt.  But I know for a fact that young teen aged girls are flocking to the colorful sweat pants, hoodies, and tanks sold at Victoria’s Secret, and when they get there, they see sexy panties and bras that are made for adults.  While it is stroke of marketing genius on Victoria Secret’s part is it exposing teens to too much too soon?

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    I don’t think so.  I believe that giving young ladies the opportunity to make some choices in real world situations can spark healthy conversations.  If your 14-year-old picks up a pair of panties that say “I Dare You,” that’s a perfect chance for you talk about a whole lot of things that probably wouldn’t normally come up in conversation.

    But first you have to give some thought to how you really feel about the kinds of merchandise that is sold at stores like Victoria Secret and whether or not you have a problem with it. If you do have a problem is it with the merchandise itself or the way it is displayed?

    A pair of thongs never hurt anybody (although they can be uncomfortable), but maybe your issue is about young girls believing that they have to forego what’s practical in order to satisfy or tantalize whoever is looking.

    Maybe you’re concerned about the size 0 women modeling the underwear and whether it will cause young girls to have body type issues and cause young men to have issues with woman size 10 and above.  It could just be that we never want to consider that our little girls will at some point be letting someone see their panties and bras?

    Before we react it’s always best to first examine our true feelings … and the messages we’re sending.

    And sometimes we’re reading way more into a situation than it warrants.  A lot of times when we talk to our kids we find that their ideas about sex are totally different from what might think.  You may hear tweeners using the terms “sexy” or “hot” and what they really mean is cute.

    We all need to be honest with ourselves and this includes Pastor Dolive who I imagine enjoys seeing Mrs. Pastor Dolive in something other than bloomers.  But, that isn’t the point.  The point is that sex and sexuality should be learned about in a healthy and positive way and it should begin way before your teens begin purchasing their own underwear.

    You’re not passing judgment on the entire industry, you’re just letting them know that they’re not to put themselves on display for the world—that intimate apparel means just that.  Trying to raise our teenagers to be prudes is not good and it’s hypocritical.  Teaching them to be moral, and to have respect for their bodies is a better way to go and that can only be done by example.

    Men can and will objectify women until the end of time.  What matters more is whether WE own those feelings about ourselves.

    Because if we do, our girls will too.

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    Originally seen on http://blackamericaweb.com/

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