• CHICK CHAT: A Violent Threesome Taught Me The Value Of A Woman’s Body

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    woman-silhouetteI nearly gagged when I read about the ménage à trois between former prison pals Orlando DeWitt, Ashley Hunter (a male partner) and a woman by the name of Leticia they met on Friday, February 8th. Long story short, DeWitt and Hunter welcomed the weekend by partying it up at a local bar. They took the party—and Leticia—back to Hunter’s house where DeWitt and the new lady friend start having sex on the couch. Hunter decided to join the party and Leticia performed oral sex on him. According to International Business Times, “’Hunter then asked to switch places with Orlando,’ the Fargo Police Department report stated. ‘Orlando told him no and Hunter became upset.’” As a result, Hunter grabbed a 12 inch butcher knife from his couch, stabbed DeWitt in the arm, DeWitt called the police and there you have it.

    Must Read: 10 Steps To Prevent Sex Abuse

    This story is so disturbing on so many levels. While reading different articles discussing the details, I realized that none of them disclosed DeWitt’s charge of sexual assault against a child and his registered sex offender status. What’s even more alarming are the implications we can draw from Leticia. On one hand, I’m praying that Leticia was not aware of DeWitt’s criminal history of sexual violation against children before she agreed to entertain him; and by the sound of how quickly things transpired, I highly doubt she was. But on the other hand, her unawareness raises a whole other concern because it implies that she willfully had sex with a total stranger who she knew absolutely nothing about. It speaks on her standards, or lack thereof, regarding her body.  I’m not one to judge how people live their sex lives behind closed doors, but it does concern me a bit when there seems to be no requirements for who’s allowed to enter those doors.

    It also troubled me that no articles mentioned Leticia’s response anywhere between the point when Hunter asked to “switch places” and DeWitt denied his request. Though the request involves her body, her say so was either intentionally left out by the media or never even solicited from the two males involved—both scenarios are equally likely. Even though her body is essentially the most significant part of that moment, her voice wasn’t worthy of mentioning; and as a woman, that sickens me.

    Leticia’s involvement in this fiasco is tragic, but not surprising. In recent years, we as women have been on a feminist movement, encouraging each other to take our independence and freedom in a male-dominated society. We’ve preached messages on everything from how we deserve equal pay to how punishments for domestic violence need to be harsher. But somewhere in the midst of all the messages of equality and independence, it seems as though some of us got the memo regarding our bodies and sexuality misconstrued. Learning that we are in complete control of our bodies has turned into too many of us unknowingly devaluing and disrespecting our bodies. Our freedom to express our sexuality and take total ownership over our holistic selves does not mean it’s completely okay if we go home with two random strangers who were locked up for failure to pay child support, aggravated assault and child sexual assault—as in the case with Leticia. Ownership of our bodies means realizing the priceless values of our beings, from the inside out, and setting high standards for who’s allowed to access such a prized possession.

    How do you think the current messages regarding our sexuality impact the way we treat our bodies? I’m interested to hear your feedback, so share with your fellow beauties!

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