• “He Won’t Introduce Me To His Family & He Disappears On Our Date Night”

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    black woman looking out window Dear Gay Best Friend,

    This is a 2 part question:

    I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 1 year. I love him very much. I have a 7 year old son and he has a 4 year old son.

    My problem is that he has yet to introduce me to his family, but he knows mine. When I sat down and talked to him about that he told me that it was no big deal and that he doesn’t want me to feel like I am not sharing every part of his life. That was two weeks ago, yet to he hasn’t brought the subject up or introduced me to his family.

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    Furthermore, I hate when he does a disappearing act and it’s been happening quite frequently. Friday nights is our date night and he will stand me up and don’t call, or don’t show. When I call to find out what happened he won’t answer his phone. When he does resurface his lame excuse is that he hates disappointing me and can’t tell me no. He feels bad when he can’t make it that’s why he don’t answer cause he hates hearing the disappointment in my voice. I spoke to him about it and it’s still a trend for him. WHAT SHOULD A GIRL DO?- Ms. Confused

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    Dear Ms. Confused,

    He is not your man. He is not your man. He is not your man. He is not your man.

    I don’t know what part of a man’s actions you women don’t understand when a man doesn’t introduce you to his family and continues to make excuses of why he won’t introduce you. Let me break it down for you. It simply means that you’re not his woman and you’re not worthy of meeting the people who are the closest to him. He is not going to open up and share his personal and intimate life with you. He doesn’t feel you are girlfriend material, let along wifey material. You’re just a trick. A jump-off. A side piece. And, you don’t even come with a buttery biscuit or soda.

    Now, if your man is disappearing on the weekends after he’s knowingly made plans with you and he doesn’t answer your calls when you try to find out what happened, and he’s standing you up, ho-hum, why do I have to answer this? Seriously? Really!! Really?

    You are not his woman. You are not his woman. You are not his woman. You are not his woman.

    I truly and honestly think, no, I know for sure that many of you are developmentally challenged. Your parents dropped you on your heads when you were younger. Wait, no, that’s not it. Due to the chemicals injected in the foods and the ingestion of these (fast foods), because your parents are too damn lazy to cook you a hot meal, it has retarded your mental and physical development. And, you’re having babies and passing the degenerate gene to your kids. Ole zombie lurch looking kids. Run! Hid your kids! Hide your ovaries!

    Ladies, ladies, ladies. If you and your man have a date night and on said scheduled date night he disappears, doesn’t answer your calls when you form a search party to go looking for him, and days later, because by the grace of God he was found, LMBAO, and he tells you that he hates disappointing you and he can’t tell you no, and he doesn’t answer your calls because he hates hearing the disappointment in your voice, then reach around to the other side of your lopsided lacefront wig and slap the –ish out of your own damn fool self for believing him.

    I swear the classes are going to be full this winter at my school, The Academy For Women With No Good Sense Who Suffer From Delusions Of Grandeur. I am specifically saving Ms. Confused a seat in the front row. And, because of my good heart I am going to grant you a full scholarship. Just let me know where to send the yellow bus each morning.

    Look, I do hope that you will recognize that he is not your man, and you are not his woman. I have no doubt in my mind that he has another woman, which will explain his disappearing acts on Friday nights. (Are you really that slow? Seriously?) Hell, he may also still be involved with his baby’s mother. But, whatever his reasoning and actions for disappearing and giving you that lame ass excuse, well, sweetie, you teach people how to treat you. And, if you keep allowing him to do it, then guess what? Who’s the blame? Why do you keep allowing him to do it with no reprimand? It’s speaks volume about you and your self-esteem. And, he knows that you’re desperate, worthless, and quite frankly you are a non-MF’ing factor! BOOM! BAM! POW! I’m just calling it as I see it. He’s disrespectful, a liar, and manipulator. Why would you continue to let someone do this to you? Ms. Honey, you need to drop him. Move on. And, get you a life. If he doesn’t want to introduce you to his family, then stop asking. If he wants to disappear on Friday nights, then let him. Stop running after him. Lawd, I swear I don’t understand you woman will complain about exercising, but yet you will run after a man. LOL! Why don’t you find you something else to do on Friday nights? How about a Friday evening church service with your son? How about an evening with your son, and make that your date night. Teach your son how to treat a woman with respect, dignity, and grace. That way he won’t do and repeat behaviors such as your man. Doesn’t the bible say, “Train up a child the way he should go.” Ba-by, let me get out of here before I start preaching. LOL! – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

    Make sure to get your copy of my new book,  Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!

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    Originally seen on http://rnbphilly.com/

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