• Jay-Z And Beyonce: First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage

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    There is an incredible buzz around the birth Jay Z and Beyonce’s baby that I don’t think I have ever seen before.

    People keep asking: What does Blue Ivy mean? What kind of father will Jay Z be? Will Beyonce be able to stop dancing and acting long enough to be a good mother? How long will it take her to get the baby weight off and hit the mic again? The internet is virtually aflame with talk about Blue Ivy Carter. Only a new baby by President Barack Obama and his wife Michelle could top this hype. None of that is what interests me though.

    Call me old fashioned but, I’m just happy to see a Black couple that took the traditional route to family for a change. I’m not passing judgement on any lifestyle choices that anyone makes. I believe folks need to live their life the way they see fit. Still it has been a long time since I have seen a Black man love and marry a Black woman, and get such a massive response when they have a child. In fact, I have never seen such excitement about the birth of a Black child in America.

    When I speak to kids today, they enjoy talking about many things in their future. However, they almost never talk about love. They talk even less about marriage. Few aspire to a life where monogamous Black love is a reality. Hopefully Jay Z and Beyonce’s marriage, and the arrival of Blue Ivy can instill more faith in our young Black boys and girls about the power of the Black family. I feel like the Black family is in a deep state of crisis (American families are as a whole). So anything that any celebrity might do to confirm the value of the Black family, is something I will champion.

    For this reason alone, I’m very happy for Jay Z and Beyonce. I am lucky enough to have been married to a wonderful Black woman for 16 years now. We have three kids together, and I would not want my life any other way. There is no cheating, or violence in our household. We don’t curse one another, or call one another names when things get intense. I’m not bragging. I’m blessed and I know it.  It is nothing to be arrogant about. As time has gone on most of the Black marriages I’ve seen come together have fallen horribly apart. Its unfortunate and sad to watch. Watching any love fall apart is hard though. The number of Black married couples I personally know today (not counting my parents generation), can be counted on one hand. Its pretty wild. But I live in California. I can imagine that in New York or Atlanta the number of married Black families are much more abundant.

    Love is not easy on its own. Black love in America, is purely a trial by fire. It must be very hard for them to cultivate the love they have. The pressure of whatever good and bad is in their relationship is enough stress on its own. To have everything you do magnified and scrutinzed by the media is something I can’t even begin to comprehend. Yet they have done it. Not only that they have done it with a class, and grace possibly unmatched in recent years. Rather than get too excited about what these two do, or do not do as parents, I’m reminded to focus on the love in my life. My wife,  and my kids.

    So, while everybody else charts astrological graphs and rants about the potential career of  Blue Ivy, I will celebrate something else. I will toast to the beauty of their love, and the power of the Black family they represent. May they be showered with all the joy and protection The Creator can provide. Congratulations to Jay Z, Beyonce and Blue Ivy. Stay blessed y’all.

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