I sat and listened to a woman go into a frenzy on one of my favorite Ustream shows Lewis Live of ihustenation.com. She admitted to still being in love with her ex-boyfriend who had gone on to marry another woman 3 months after they parted. Usually a fan of the straight liquor no chaser advice Lewis dishes out, I had to stop listening with this particular caller.
Before I tuned out she described how she and her ex-boyfriend’s wife got into it on one occasion. Not a day before that I learned of an older woman, a family friend, whose partner left her after nearly two decades (no ring in sight) to go shack up with a woman who resembled a walking talking iguana. Apparently she is still in love with him and will sneak into their bedroom for some reminiscent romps.
I wanted to reach for a bottle and light up a sweet herbal refreshment after learning of the stupidity, but I humbled myself and quickly remembered that although others may postpone their healing acting out in unimaginable ways, we’ve all been there.
The desperation, the denial, the pain, those are all universal emotions.
There is no set way to get over rejection, some of us immediately throw ourselves into effortless rebound relationships, some of us turn into a sour apple bitter b*tch, and then there are those of us who take up twitter and Facebook timelines ‘expressing ourselves’. Either way or anyway things will change after that ice is broken.
I recall investing time now three years ago in a man who had no intention of investing in me. I was devastated when I waking up one morning right before Christmas to a text saying that we should just be friends. I went into one of the most irrational and depressive states I’ve ever been in. What kind of human being does that?
Looking back now I am astonished with how far I’ve come in terms of my perspective of life, men and relationships. I thank him from the bottom of my heart for devastating me in that way because I may have still been dabbling alongside him like a lost puppy waiting to be loved.
When a man/woman loses interest or when a relationship dissolves that is your cue to step up your game. After the tears, after the anger, after the urge to take them on again subsides you owe it to yourself to aim higher and be good to yourself.
HB Fam: You may never find yourself in the exact situations like the ones above, but I’m curious, what advice would you give someone who was still in love with an ex who had obviously moved on?
On The Scene
About the author: Telisha Ng is a freelance writer and author of the Goddess Intellect blog from Toronto, Canada. Connect with her on twitter @goddess_I or send her an email firstname.lastname@example.org.