By popular demand I decided to flip the script, wake the fellas up, and advocate on behalf of all my HB ladies to present to you 5 common mistakes men sexually that turn women off. If you are reading my column for the first time, welcome, and get caught up: 5 Common Mistakes Women Make Verbally That Scare Men Off
One of the most difficult conversations to have with our partners are sex-related. As a community we are over sexed and under satisfied meaning that we indulge in sex without really ever coming out on an equal playing field. I believe that if more communication and dialogue between the sexes occurred then we would be better equipped to please each other on all levels, not just sexually. Here is a list of 5 common mistakes men make sexually that turn women off:
- Talking Up Your sex game, before the first quarter: Best believe this is the cause for many cringed faces, side eyes and missed calls. Yes, today’s woman is more sexually adept and aware than previous generations but like men, we revel in mystery. Don’t let the cat out the hat too soon, because if a man ends up having more bark than bite, it will result in many lonely nights.
- Are we there yet: This may be more of a personal pet peeve but the more I share it, I find that more and more women can relate. Don’t ask us repeatedly if we have had an orgasm. We love that you are but some of us take a lot longer than others to achieve an earth shattering orgasm. Since orgasms require mental stimulation for the best results, interrupting my sexy thoughts with incessant whining does not help, instead encourage the action you want to see, “I would love to see you cum”.
- Penis Pictures: In a committed and consensual relationship I suppose anything goes, but in the initial dating stages a penis pic to a woman’s (not girl’s) phone/email is the cause for dismissal. In fact fellas regardless of how much of a masterpiece you think you have, it’s insulting and demeaning. Women are interested in getting to know the man; any interaction with his “wingman” will come in time.
- Pain is pleasure: Yes this is a popular saying but not all “pain” translates to pleasure. Perhaps this comes with age, but on behalf of the sisterhood, trade in 60 minutes of jack hammer mayhem for a variation of strokes. Always ask your partner if they are comfortable, we perform our best when our muscles are relaxed and stimulated, not when we are holding on for dear life wanting to curl into fetal position.
- Neglecting the magic of Foreplay: It’s natural to get comfortable sexually overtime in a relationship, but I guarantee you couples who are happiest in the bedroom know what works and improves on it time after time. If you remember driving your woman wild one night you were creative with the foreplay don’t just dust that off for special occasions, rely on your imagination. Remember the imagination you were told you had to supress when you were becoming a man, that one. Foreplay is that special touch that makes your stroke game unique, don’t neglect it.
The key to successful seduction and sexual satisfaction is being confident and knowledgeable about the partner you are with. Ask questions after every roll in the hay and at the same time be prepared to hear an answer that you may not agree with. With sex everyone is a teacher and student collectively.
What are your thoughts on this list? Are there things I’m leaving out? What is the hardest sex-related conversation you had to have with your partner?