Can Men & Women Really Be ‘Just Friends’?

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When God, Allah, Vishnu, Buddha or evolution made men and women different and separate, do you think they ever intended for men and women to be more than procreation partners? That is, can men and women actually be friends? Real friends? I would like to say yes, because I have plenty of male friends, but then I really started to think about what my male friendships are based on. It is my firm belief that, regardless of whether or not one is aware of it, there is a certain level of attraction between a man a woman that it is natural and inevitable, even if the relationship is strictly platonic, be it their personality, smile, wit, humor, or one of the million other attributes that make people want to be around each other.

I have a long and very bad habit of turning my guy friends into my boyfriends. In fact, the longest and most serious boyfriend I’ve had began as my best friend. I mean, it seems perfectly natural and correct. People always say, ‘I married my best friend,’ so I guess I took that advice literally by dating my best friend. Our relationship was great because we genuinely enjoyed each other’s company, but the down side is that, when you break up, you lose both a boyfriend and a best friend in one fell swoop.

I have great resources for this conundrum: my friends – that is, my dear girlfriends and the guys I haven’t dated (yet) – are still my friends. And I have found that the general consensus is that girls think that men and women can be friends, but guys don’t. Most of my guy friends admitted to me that they have thought about sleeping with almost every female friend they have, or used friendship as a tool to get closer to the girl in hopes of turning their friendship into more. One comment by a friend, who is literally the real-life version of Samantha from Sex and the City, said, “Men are for f***ing and women are for friendships.”

That comment blew me away because, in a lot of ways, it’s a very raw and honest statement. However, it then it occurred to me that eventually all of that intense passion and sexual lust you feel for your man will dissipate, but the unyielding bond of friendship is what really lasts. Because, at the end of the day, you just want to be with one who makes you laugh.

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