• Today Is “Basic Tuesday” – Basic Letters From Basic Women

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    woman writing letterYou’ve got questions? He’s got answers! Need advice?

    Send your questions to Terrance: girlworkonyou@aol.com

    Dear Gay Best Friend,

    I met this guy and we fell in love. He is a trust fund kid and he relies on his daddy for money, and for everything! He is currently unemployed and about to open a business with his dad. He is cash strapped so of course I am not being spoiled – no dinners, etc. His dad has him on a tight leash and if he doesn’t behave accordingly he doesn’t get any money. He has a daughter which is loved by his family.

    Last December they (my boyfriend and his family) went to Mauritius with the baby mama because she had to look after their 3-year old daughter. So, here I was all alone whilst the family went on holiday. Recently he woke up from my bed and went to Brazil with his baby mama. I didn’t know about the trip until he had gone.

    We even don’t use condoms that’s how close we are. We are soul mates and talk about everything so I don’t understand why he did this to me. I am not going to give him up as we are meant to be together. Even the psychic said we belong together. What should I do? I know he loves me. – Baby Momma Drama

    Dear Ms. Baby Momma Drama,

    Uhm, if you know you’re destined to be together, and you’re soul mates, and you are not going to give him up then what do you want me to tell you to do? No matter what I write or say you’ve made up in your mind that you are going to stay in the relationship despite all the red blinking signs blaring over your big ass head.

    Chile, here we go again with the classic case of stuck on stupid, I’m d**k-ma-tized, and “I’m not going to let the other woman win” syndrome.

    I don’t have time for this, or for you. You clearly are delusional to think you have baby momma drama. You have self-esteem issues, and self-worth issues. And, you’re running after a boy who is being taken care of by his daddy.   (@@       ) Looking at you side eyed. He’s a grown ass man and his father is paying his bills and running his life. You can’t really complain because basically his daddy is taking care of both of you, and when daddy isn’t fueling him money you step in as the surrogate. Dumbass.

    You know what, why am I even having this discussion with you. You’ve stated that you are not going anywhere, and he jumped up out of your bed, left and didn’t tell you where he was going, and he ended up on a trip to Brazil with his baby momma. LOL! Okay, she’s just his baby momma, and you need another hole in your head. And, on top of that you’re not using condoms with him. Girl, good bye and good luck. – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

    “I Was A Stripper Who Fell In Love & Got Married, But I’m Texting An Ex”

    Dear Gay Best Friend,

    I have a dilemma. I hate to go out with my girlfriend because she seems to attract all the men. I get hit on too but not the men I am attracted to and not as much

    My friend and I are the exact opposite. I’m a giver, I like to be submissive, and I don’t think every man is a dog or a liar. I am independent but I don’t hold that over anyone’s head. My friend on the other hand is always talking about men, calling them whores and liars (to their face). She has no respect for anyone and yet men are more attracted to her!!! I can’t understand this. When we go out she normally get the good guys, the cute guys, etc. She is very cute herself and light skinned. I’m cute as well but not as cute and I’m a darkie. I think this play a big role in it as well

    I love her to death and I don’t hold this against her at all. But I can’t understand why men go for looks only and not the personality. Help me not feel like the ugly duckling when we go out. Sincerely – 3rd Wheel

    Dear Ms. 3rd Wheel,

    Do you hear that? It’s me letting out a long deep sigh.

    So, I’m supposed to feel sorry for you and play into this pity party with you? Chile, puhlease. You got the wrong one on the wrong day. I’m sorry, but as you, and everyone know, I don’t do pity parties. I don’t feel sorry for your melodrama of, “My friend is pretty. She attracts all the good and cute guys. She’s light skinned and I’m dark skinned.” Girl, miss me, please, miss me.

    Your complexion has nothing to do with it. Why are we having this discussion about skin color and it’s the 21st century? Are you people still stuck on color in the Black community of light skin versus dark skin? Haven’t we gotten past this conversation? Ugh!!!

    You’ve stated it yourself, and I’m going to say this for you slow and mentally challenged people one more time. If you feel and think you are ugly, unattractive, and undesirable then guess what? So does everyone else.

    Girl, get some self-esteem, and some motivation (in my Kelly Rowland voice). That song is cold, isn’t it? Oh, wait. She’s a dark-skin girl who is doing the damn thing. Well, hot damn. And, she made a song about getting some motivation.

    I don’t have time for this banter of feeling unpretty (in my TLC voice). Please stop it! And, please start encouraging yourself. Give yourself some daily mantras and affirmations to tell yourself each day. “I’m pretty. I’m attractive and men are attracted to me. I am loved, and lovable. I am desirable. I deserve greatness and goodness that the universe has in store for me.” Also, stop sitting on the sideline pouting and acting shy. Men are not attracted to the pouty girl in the corner with the gas face. And, when jealous rears it’s ugly head everyone can see the green envy coated all over your face. Yes, whatever you feel on the inside will be displayed in your countenance. (Look it up. I don’t have time to explain it). And, if you feel like a 3rd wheel with your friend, and she’s stealing the shine, why don’t you go out alone, or with other friends. Stop competing with your friend, and thinking it’s a competition. If you feel competitive with your friend, then guess what sweetie, she is not your friend! BOOM! BAM! POW! – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

    You can follow Terrance Dean on Twitter, HERE!

    You can also visit Terrance Dean’s website to find out more about him, HERE!

    Make sure to get your copy of my book, STRAIGHT FROM YOUR GAY BEST FRIEND – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Work, and Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden – October 2010; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, HERE!

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