While watching the “Notorious” film on HBO, I was intrigued by not only the story which, I thought that I knew already like so many others of my generation, but also by how clear his relationships were with the women in his life. The Faith Evans and Lil Kim storyline was extremely telling. Kim and B.I.G seemed to have had a connection, she knew him before he was famous yet he choose to marry Faith Evans after only knowing her for a short time. When Kim said “Why her and not me?” I felt her pain.
There are many theories on why men commit to marriage, but the way that these differences were illustrated made it crystal clear. Paying attention to how they both solidified the terms of their relationship early, will show the lessons for all single women. Here are top 5 relationship don’ts that I noticed:
1) Make him work for it: When you meet a man on a Tuesday afternoon then have sex with him by Tuesday evening; you should really check yourself. Again, if you make it too easy he will never respect, cherish and adore you. Ex: When they met and he was standing on the corner; they have sex that day and then she asked him after, “Are you seeing anyone?” That’s just clearly, being too easy 101!
2) Have your own: There has to be something said for having your own career. Ex: Faith did not need B.I.G to put her on, she had a record deal before him.
3) Curb your mouth: You can not say whatever you want in the heat of an argument and think it’s okay. Yeah, Kim was sassy and that’s cute to a certain point. Ladies we have to stop taking pride in being able to bring a man to his knees with our words. Ex: When she was in the recording booth and announced that they had oral sex, in front of all of his friends and colleagues– not a good look. Respect him and yourself.
4) Never let a man keep you in limbo: They decide nothing; if he has not committed to you the way that you need him to be then walk away, dignity in tack. Ex: Faith stopped while saying their wedding vows and said “don’t say it if you don’t mean it,” when the preacher got to part about being faithful. She let him know that monogamy was important to her.
5) Be Consistent: Faith made him commit but then she was not consistent, as evident in her book. Ex: she describes how he cheated and they went back and forth in their marriage.