Most women consider themselves to be reasonably intuitive when they meet and interact with men. In terms of new love and budding relationships, of course, we tend to assume that all his opinions, beliefs, attitudes and general world theories are on the table by the time we get past the ‘getting-to-know-him’ round.
But what if he has held back, waiting for the moment in which you’re too infatuated to care, or naive enough to think a shocking revelation won’t impact your new relationship?
For those sisters who are politically-minded, a difficult hurdle to cross often comes with the late announcement that your new man is about to vote red or blue when you vote the other way.
I know personally that I’ve had received the odd figurative slap-in-the-face when political alliances are revealed that go against my own. This is not to say that I don’t understand our differences, simply that I begin to wonder just how far one vote can translate into day-to-day social beliefs. Name one and I wonder about it!
Again, many girlfriends of mine regularly talk of life on the dating scene and just how accurate their first impressions are. Intuition, they say! But most, if not all, get caught out when they overhear their new man talking to his boys either about booty, getting freaky with YOU and, worst of all, any mention of that girl you know he used to date.
Some women can overcome such talk and put it down to the pressures of being a man and wanting to fit in, while others amongst us think it’s wrong, unnecessary and straight-out disrespectful. At the end of the day, the week or the month you take to deal with it, if you feel comfortable that his sexual attitudes won’t eventually impact your bond with him, go for it sister!
Now one situation that is often always waiting for us down the line is the moment you take him home to Mom, Dad, Grandma, your Uncle, your Aunt, your sister and some, if not all, of your 17 cousins.
You of course have already subconsciously established who you’re close to, and who you try to avoid at those oversized family gatherings. But what happens when he lets slip that he doesn’t like someone in your family and that he would prefer not to see him/her/them too often?
Some women assume that in family matters a man will bite his tongue and deal with it, except maybe if one of your nasty, middle-aged cousins was giving him dirty looks across the dinner table. Unfortunately (yet perhaps fortunately for the sake of honesty in your relationship) not all men remain quiet.
From family to family this is bound to vary based on factors like how much time you spend with your family, how many streets away they live and just how tech-saavy your Grandma might be with her new iPod including being able to keep an eye on you and your man on BlackPlanet.
When it comes down to it a relationship is a complicated process and often there’s no definite end to the ‘getting-to-know-him’ stage. But time will tell, as they say, so let’s hope for your sake that time says ‘Yes!’
What are some of the experiences you’ve had with getting to know the ins-and-outs of your man and his opinions?