How To Avoid Being THAT Girl

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When someone cheats on you, it’s obviously heartbreaking.  I thought that I would only be devastated and insecure. But to my surprise, I also had another feeling: disappointment… with the other girl.  I was definitely upset with him and we dealt with it on our own.  The more I thought about it, however, I realized that what happened also says a lot about the girl involved and the impact that us women have on other ladies. After all, it takes two to tango.

When I realized that I would probably punch this girl in the face if I saw her, I knew I needed to sort out my feelings, and FAST. Anyone that I talked to about it gave me the usual advice: “You’re just really emotional right now and you obviously want to avoid being mad at someone that you loved, so you’re taking it out on the third party.” The more I thought about it though, I realized that I was upset because of the negative image that her action gives to us women. We need to be confident and classy, so let’s help others feel that way also!

It’s one thing to cheat on your significant other: it’s disrespectful.  However, it’s an entirely different thing to get someone else to cheat on their significant other.  I understand that in some cases there isn’t much convincing necessary; after all, guys can make bad decisions on their own without any prodding from someone else.  In this specific case, however, the guy was black-out drunk and the girl came onto him, HARD, even when she knew about his girl in New York.

Us ladies experience many of the same things, we’ve all cried the same tears.  We are loaded up with certain feelings that guys will never understand, so why can’t we be there for each other instead of trying to defeat each other?

I try to imagine myself in a similar position as this girl: Someone that I obviously have feelings for  is in a long distance relationship with a girlfriend that I wish didn’t exist.  And now, here I am at a party with him, wasted and playful.

My advice? Be the coolest, truest, and most likable girl that you can be while still keeping it classy.  Let him know how awesome you are from across the room, rather than on the couch with him.  And think ahead: Okay, you might get him for a night, but if he really likes his girlfriend, she is still going to be the one that he calls to say “Good Morning Baby” to the next day.  Save yourself from coming off as an available piece of ass and make him want you in a different way.  It’s one thing if he leaves his girlfriend for you because he wants to experience you, but it’s something else if he already did experience you, but at the wrong time. Most importantly, think about how you would feel after.  You’d feel much better about yourself if you ended up together naturally, without needing to actively interfere in something else.

Respect your fellow girls: that’s what really matters in the end.  There are plenty of fish in the sea, just focus on the ones that are swimming solo. You’ll keep yours, his, and his girls’ esteems high, and that’s more important than a lot of people think. Something that I’ve learned recently is this: It’s okay to not like certain people.  In fact, add them to your Top Ten People I Think Stink list.  But seriously, keep to your own business.  We have enough problems in our own lives, so keep doing your own thing and building your own confidence without breaking down other people’s confidence.

I’m not trying to make this about complaining and undermining the impact a guy’s actions, I just think it’s important for girls to really stick together, because nobody understands females like women themselves.

So what do you say, ladies? Let’s wait our turn.  It might be hard, but there’s really no point in ruining another girls’ time when you can avoid it.

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